Where to start?
Post-traumatic-something-syndrome after a (too-short) trip home to Wisconsin for the wedding (of-the-century) rehearsal and family-and-friends get-together.
Road-trip (x2): awesome.
Family: missing them hours after leaving. “You never really know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”
Back home: traumatic in so many ways. (Boyfriend [?-!] who is trying too hard to be perfect in every way (cutting down my forest, painting my living room, asking if he can move in with me [or into my barn…everyone really LOVES my barn!) and I hate it. (Am I the last person standing, unmarried, no children? [Tommy, you were supposed to be in my camp, but I am so happy for you!]) Dying cat, saved by the vet in the nick of time to the tune of $65.00. (That’s me being a mom in the only way I know how, what a topic that could be!)
Career: still on the line. Down to 21 hours a week, job hunt to be moved to the top of the priority list. Day off tomorrow, resume to a bank, part-time, so I don’t have to pretend to be on the ladder.
Moving: top priority. Or it should be, all things considered.
Future topics to be addressed:
· Elements: fire, moon, stars, fireflies (all having to do with light)
· Water (my swimming plans got side-lined in Wisconsin due to weather; I need to get in a lake!)
· Pools (both the swimming and shooting variety)
· Bikes (both the Harley and the Schwinn variety)
· The open road versus the permanent zip code
· Animals versus perpetual freedom (see reference to sick cat, above; heartbreak averted, for now.)
· Country girl versus city girl (I gotta have my garden, but I REALLY love Trader Joe’s!)
· Athlete versus musician: this is more about the man I will find someday (I’m not looking, I’m assuming…), but it also is a yin-yang thing with me, myself, and that other person who comes out on the weekends, not to mention what happens to me when I get my athlete on (nursing a mystery-bad-knee right now, can’t even bike) or my music on (and there is no music here unless I make my own).
· Love versus alone-ness (not to be mistaken for loneliness). (OMG, I really don’t think I want a man in my life! Is there something wrong with me? Scott does more for me than any person I’ve ever known, but it comes at a price, and he’s not shy about asking to be “paid.” That’s not just sex, either. He wants my everything, and I don’t have it to give. If I actually have an “everything,” I’m pretty sure I need to give it to me, first. Interesting, given what I was willing and ready to give up just 6 or 7 months ago, don’t ya’ think? But that’s the point, really. Really?)
· Courage, faith, determination. (Self-explanatory. Not that I couldn’t go on and on and on and on and on and on…)
· Wine. Champagne, actually. I am distilling myself; aging (NOT, but yes, damn it!) to become fine, crisp and clear, with subtle notes of nature, yet adventurous and a little (a lot) on the bubbly side. My sister, Mary (the photographer behind the “Sleeping Beauty” photo on Facebook), says she misses my giggle. I do, too.
That’s all for now. I hope you missed me while I was gone. And I hope you will continue to join me on my journey, as I re-discover My Self.