Oh, that’s right. It was May and I was sitting on my front porch, drinking wine and using the word “perfect” on a regular basis. I may have been lonely, which I was blissfully unaware of at the time, but I was content.
Time to reboot.
Here’s the plan:
Sell my freaking house and move to New Mexico.
· New Mexico has no water. Last I heard, the Rio Grande was pretty dried up. I guess I could adjust, take weekend trips somewhere. I have some fond memories of Lake Mead outside of Las Vegas, not too far away…
· The water issue would be more than offset by being able to live by my mom and my brother. And by not living in Mountain Grove. Plus, I’ve been looking for a reason to learn Spanish again.
· My house has some pretty serious issues. “That handyman who lived here for awhile” discovered burned insulation in my back utility room ceiling as well as melted wires in my front light switch. That means I have not had at least 2 fires. (I should probably find and install the smoke detector I bought a couple years ago at an auction.) And the dining room is a good 6 inches lower in elevation than the adjacent kitchen area. I have a large shim under my refrigerator which straddles the line, and it’s still not level. I have to kick the door shut every time I close it.
· “That handyman who lived here for awhile” said he’ll come back and fix those 2 issues for me and it won’t cost me any more than materials. He also said he’d be willing to work for “cheap” on my many other issues.
· Seriously, can I take him at his word on this? I’m certainly not going to hold my breath. And he doesn’t have a car or a driver’s license.
· He only (recently) lives an hour away and my car gets really good gas mileage so I could, theoretically, go fetch him for a weekend now and then. Assuming I can take him at his word. Seriously?
· Well, I think that’s kind of obvious. I’m not sure I ever want to see him again, much less have him around for an entire weekend, with or without his new bride, although we have spoken on the phone and he gave me a really plausible explanation for the “shotgun” wedding. Seriously? And there are “no hard feelings” between us. Seriously? But, seriously, I think I could stand it if it means that much more in resale value for my house.
· I only owe $17,000-ish on my mortgage. I think I could get that for the barn and double-lot corner property alone; in fact my neighbor expressed an interest in buying the place a few years ago. Maybe I should just bull-doze the house, a happy accident while having a load of gravel delivered, maybe? Maybe an electrical fire would be a blessing, as long as I and the animals all happen to be out of the house at the time, conveniently, during a bug bomb or painting marathon. Those thoughts have crossed my mind more than once…
· This is Mountain Grove. I’ve seen much nicer homes/properties go up on the auction block for less with no buyers. But that’s an auction (private as opposed to foreclosure). That’s different.
So, here’s the plan:
Talk to my neighbor. Contact several people that I know of in the businesses of real estate/auctions and find out what I’m really up against. Or – and this is the plan I prefer – win the Publishers Clearing House drawing on August 28. $5,000 a week for life.
Yeah, that could work.