When I first moved into my house here, I was amazed at how few bugs I had.
Not true anymore. I’m pretty sure somebody, somewhere, has done a study showing that creepy-crawlies are drawn to human beings.
Or me, anyway.
It started with a tick. I remember the first time I met a tick, at my friend, Kim’s, mother-in-law’s house a few counties away from here. I was SO grossed out. But that was years ago. I’ve become accustomed…
· Ticks. Two, this year, so far, including one which nearly required a neighbor (or EMT) assistance due to an inaccessible physical location (middle of back, etc.). A boyfriend (or a Cirque-de-Soleil physical capability of my own), would have been handy, but not worth it, country-song lyrics not withstanding.
· Spiders. In my bed, apparently, because I woke up with bites (of some kind) that were not there when I went to sleep.
· Ants. Sugar ants– thousands of them, everywhere – regardless of the fact that I don’t even own sugar.
· Cockroaches. Smaller population this year, so far. We’ll see what happens as the weather warms up.
· Crickets. Generally speaking, I love crickets, but these are a whole new species. Damien called them “evil crickets.” They jump and they bite, and they explode when you step on them. And they love to swim in the cats’ water dishes. Yuck.
· Slugs. White, slimy trails on my window screens. They, too, love the cat food dishes. And they, too, squish when you step on them, a particularly unpleasant sensation when you are barefoot. Double yuck.
· Snakes. Harmless garden variety, which I’ve actually played with, in an effort to impress my next door neighbor’s kid. But I don’t like it when they come in the house and play with my cats.
· Mayflies. The first time these guys showed up, someone told me they were termites. They – thousands of them, two years in a row – swarmed my kitchen for exactly 2 weeks, and then, just as suddenly, disappeared. I never saw them again, until 2 days ago. In my kitchen sink. I washed them down the drain. Then I found them in my bathroom sink. Today, I found them on my living room floor. Oh, and by the way, it’s not May. Nevertheless, I stand firm in my diagnosis, and blame it on weird weather (not to be mistaken for a commentary on Climate Change.)
· Bumble Bee. The bee told me he was there. I said okay. Unfortunately, we happened to “bump” into each other during the relocation of a metal shelf apparatus in my garden shed and, OMG, it felt like a stab wound. For a minute – or forty – I really thought I would die. The next day, not even the sign of a wound. Chalk that one up to a really strong immune system, or something.
· Moths. There are holes in my screens. All of them. The moths love it when I read at night. I have a catch-and-release mechanism made out of a plastic container and a piece of cardboard. Works every time. They go and tell their friends where the party is.
I have not mentioned mosquitoes, house flies, fruit flies, or mice. I’m certain the list could go on. But, I’m pretty sure, over time, the critters and I will learn how to live in harmony.
That’s the plan, anyway.