A simple solution to a complex problem: loneliness. This is a feeling that I simply cannot wrap my mind around. I have never, ever been lonely before. I've been alone forever it seems, even with Damien for 12 or whatever years, but being alone is different than being lonely.
I need a distraction, and something outdoors always fulfills that requirement. Tonight that distraction is, once again, simply night time itself: a moonlit sky, stardom, crickets, cicadas.
And a fire, for sure. It's chilly and nothing will warm me better than a fire.
I succeed with the fire, and it always amazes me when I do.
But tonight is different. Tonight's fire is amazing. It is an interactive fire. The logs and the flames are talking to me, giving their very life and light to me. And I think it's the first time I've actually listened. I understand the fire. I have a conversation with the fire. I dance with the fire.
And it dances with me.
I think I might stay.