Go ahead and say congratulations. I'm a big girl now.
No doubt, a sane person would be wondering if she has a place to go to work in the morning. Me? I am basking in the glory of a successful Memorial Day BBQ. I got burned, I got rained on (as did my buns, awesome buns, warmed on my warming rack, a carb-indulgence if and when I so desire [breakfast, mostly.]) Three of my turkey brats are probably inedible, burned beyond recognition [that's to-be-determined on an as-needed basis, and I love burnt food, although it puts a person at added risk for cancer ([all things in moderation!)]. I successfully turned off my gas connection, repositioned it, and cooked enough food to last me for a month or more, whenever I get a hankerin for char-broil. (Freezer-burn be damned!)
Go ahead and say congratulations. I'm a big girl now.
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I am not going to let the little things get in the way of a perfect weekend. No news yet on the status of my maybe-burned-down-place-of work. No news is good news, right? The BBQ is my current Mt. Everest. I've burned my finger, Tea Tree Oil to the rescue; I've determined that what I previously thought was a gas leak was, in fact, a gas disconnect (hence the burned finger.) The meat is getting there (where?), and my writing is challenging me with the proper placement of a comma. I will sign off for now. I hope you all wish me well, as I do you!
Or I could wait it out. It's (kinda) early. I smell other people's BBQ going. Maybe I'll have a glass of wine while I wait. It is still, technically, the weekend.
Well, I know I should be going uptown and seeing if my work place is still standing. But I have all this meat in the fridge. Like 12 pounds. No exaggeration and I really need to eat. And now we're having a thunderstorm. Never got around to my plan of moving the grill up to the (newly covered) back porch. Pizza, again, I guess.
Week(ending) 5.26.2014 (Memorial Day)
Of course, today is all about our armed forces people, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart. Without their commitment and sacrifice, I would not be experiencing the enjoyment and freedom that I am. And I am! That being said, for me, it’s all about a long weekend. After a decade at Walmart, without weekends or holidays off, I live for weekends like this. And I’ve been planning for it all week long. Monday-Friday (5/19 – 5/23) The boss is on vacation. Which is like a vacation for me. Quiet and productive. I’ve worked extra hours, which enables me to take lunch breaks, which frees up my evenings, which enables me to cross several items off of my weekend to-do list even before the weekend even arrives. The To-Do List: · Saturday: Auction (9:00 a.m., here in town; maybe it won’t be an all-day thing. One thing listed on the auction handbill is a NuWave Oven, which I have wanted forever. I don’t have high hopes of getting/affording it [it retails for $150+, not including shipping and accessories and add-ons], but who knows what other surprises there may be!) · Set up pool (un-bury last year’s pool from the back of the shed; run hose(s) 150 feet from the side of house, through the barn, to the backyard). (This really needs to happen before anything else; it’s going to be a hot and sweaty weekend.) · Dig and plant veggie garden (dig up sod; move sod; turn soil; amend soil; measure for plants (9 tomatoes; 12 peppers, 2 cucumbers…so far…); layout, measure, plant, mulch; lay lawn-encroachment-border impediment of some sort; set cages/stakes; install trellises…) · Mow lawn; clear (saw/prune/haul) overgrown trees and vegetation · Grill meat on (new-ish) BBQ grill. (An intimidating proposition. Meat is a relatively new dietary staple for me, due to my new, high-protein approach, not to mention my inexperience with grilling and the fact that the new-ish grill may have a propane leak.) · Burn trash, clean windows, mop floors, do dishes, empty the litter box, finish sorting seasonal clothes. And when shall I find time to patch and paint walls, seal cracks/openings in the laundry room so I can stop catching and releasing home-invading wasps, bees, flies and snakes. And maybe set off a critter bomb for the cockroaches and ants? [That, in itself, is a weekend project, necessitating a 3-4 hour evacuation of me and the animals.] Ah, well, I have all summer… Thursday, 5.22.14 (Well, originally, I thought it was Friday, but that’s another story): I am marking out my new veggie garden space, relocated to my side-yard, from the overgrown, mosquito-infested jungle space out back. Much more convenient for watering, weeding and harvesting. I have to dig up the sod, turn and amend the soil (all by hand, with a pitchfork, shovel, rake), figure out how to keep the lawn from encroaching, but in the long run it will be worth it. During a break, as I’m walking to the front porch for a drink of water, a young(ish) man walks up my driveway, asking for directions. “I’m looking for 610 Frisco Street.” “That should be about four houses that way.” I point east, to my left. He’s looking at my shaggy, overgrown yard. “I do lawn work. Do you need some help?” “It looks that way, doesn’t it? But really, I’ve got it under control. Long weekend ahead, thanks anyway.” He continues up my driveway. “Are you sure? My name’s Jacob. I do weed-eating, tree-trimming, mowing, brush removal, trash removal. I could do your entire property for $25.” That got my attention. “Well, okay, let’s take a walk.” As we head north, to the back of my lot, I start talking about trees and “stuff” behind my big, yellow barn. Jacob has a sudden change of heart. “Wait. What? Your property goes all the way to the back? I may have mis-spoken.” I know that all the work which needs to be done – a decade’s worth of a “let-nature-take-its-course” attitude—will take the entire summer, probably more, if I am to do it myself. By hand. No power tools. Only muscle, blood, sweat and tears. And then the season will be over, and I will never actually get to sit back and enjoy it. “Well, give me an estimate anyway.” Our walk continues. At the end, he says (and I still can’t believe it): “I will do your entire property for $25. I will get in there where you can’t get with the lawnmower (because of buried, obstructed debris, including rocks, wood, glass, metal, plastic, who-knows-what). I will trim the vines, hack down the brush, do all the edging. At the very least, it will be more manageable and sustainable for you, going forward.” After I suspend my disbelief and pick up my jaw from the ground, I tell him he’s hired. He says he’ll by on Friday, early, before it gets too hot. These kinds of things rarely work out for me. We’ll see. Friday 5.23.14 I went to Walmart on my lunch break and bought garden soil. Of course, they were out of composted manure, but I will make do with topsoil and Miracle-Gro Garden Soil. (I’m not crazy about using bagged dirt, even Miracle-Gro; I am a confirmed-and-proud organic gardener. I used to make-do with my own compost, before the afore-mentioned encroaching jungle took over. I still compost, but I wouldn’t consider it edible-garden-worthy, since it includes cat litter and 3 years’ worth of humanure from the no-plumbing- days.) Of course, I bought groceries (damn the convenience of Walmart), and brought them home. And guess what (whom) I found upon my arrival? Jacob, sweating away (sexily, I might add) at his herculean task of de-vegetating my yard. I can only say, “WOW.” Still today, as I write this (on Monday), I am in awe. I can’t stop looking at my yard, much like I couldn’t stop looking at myself after I lost all my weight. And I felt inspired to carry on where he left off. Trees, shrubs, weeds, branches, vines, stumps. By hand, every bit of it. All evening, till dark. I pay Jacob $30 and tell him he can stop at any point and I will be beyond satisfied. When I get home from work, I am blown away. After surveying my property, I call Jacob and thank him profusely, and offer myself as a reference. I also tell him, that since I am unfamiliar with the notion of paying other people to work for me, that he should feel free to check in with me occasionally, keep my situation under control for me. {And this is after, and on top off, last weekend: an entire new roof for under $2000. That’s why I moved here; I remember now. Cheap (inexpensive) everything. (Low wages, too, but it all evens out, I guess.) Later: As I’m coming in the front door, after animal-attendance duties, I notice a small pink piece of paper hanging out of my mailbox. Hmmm. Well, now isn’t that ironic: a certified letter from the City of Mountain Grove, complete with photographs, of my overgrown property. Turns out I am in violation of several city weed/lawn/trash ordinances. (Uber ironic, since I’ve been working on a story/page for my website about this very subject, during this week’s bonus free-time at work. Double-irony. Triple irony, actually, if I really want to expand on the subject, which I don’t; not now, anyway.) Suffice to say, for the first time in forever, I know that, tomorrow, when I go to sign for the letter, I can smile and say, “I beat you to it this time.”) Oh yeah, that, and I have the auction to look forward to. Saturday, 5.24.14 I’m awake at 6 a.m., thanks to my previous work-week schedule. The auction starts at 9:00, five minutes away. Feed the dogs, coffee and breakfast, do a little housecleaning. Shower, shave, blah, blah, blah. I am going out into the public domain, and will probably see a lot of local people that I know. Gotta look my best, but I need to dress comfortably. 8:45 a.m.: Where did the morning go? I arrive at the auction at 9:01 and need to check-in and get my bidder number before I can survey the goods and place any bids. I always have a copy of the auction handbill with me, items of particular interest marked with a highlighter. (I am the main-auction-handbill-typesetter in town, so I usually know about everything well in advance; this auction is an exception.) My main objective today: a NuWave Oven. The beginning of an auction is always a little stressful for me, especially if I arrive late. I need to walk the grounds, see what’s going up first: collectibles usually, especially guns and coins, followed by small kitchen appliances, household goods, etc. Oftentimes, after the first hour or two, if the house, real estate and furniture are up for sale, the auctioneer will “break for the big stuff.” During this time, I usually walk the outside perimeter, where I will find small furniture, tables, lamps, shelves and organizational items, seasonal stuff, tools, lawn and garden, and every odd-and-end known to man. This is where I begin my list of “potentials.” But first the NuWave. Never go without a budget. Today, I’m okay. I can spend a little more freely than usual. (Another story for another blog.) I’m thinking up to $50, total, if I find a steal. In the first 10 minutes after I have my bidder’s number, I spot a “Bullet Express Meal Machine.” I’m not sure exactly what this is, but I know I have a very-mini-version at home for smoothies, purchased on clearance at Walmart for $15. This item is “new-in-box” and the box is as big as my kitchen stove which, BTW, only functions at about 50% capacity. And according to the box, it will replace at least 8 appliances in my kitchen. I currently only have 3 appliances in my kitchen, so I’m pretty sure this will enhance my life. Sold. To me. $30. Maybe kind of high for an auction (cost & demand principles in action), but I am certain it’s a good deal. While I’m moving my “Bullet Express” off the table and onto the ground, I hear the auctioneer announce a dehydrator. What? I don’t remember seeing a dehydrator on the handbill, but I’ve wanted one for years. For real. Honest! I look up, and he’s holding the dehydrating trays (only) in the air. The bid is at $10. I raise my hand. $12.50 to me. Back to my bidding competitor at $15. To me, at $17.50. Going once, going twice, SOLD! To me, $17.50. As I wait for the crowd to thin and move along down the table, I get a closer look at my purchase. Why, it’s not a dehydrator at all…it’s the NuWave Oven! For $17.50. My day is made. Or so I thought. When I first arrived at the auction, they were making an announcement that it was a small auction, that they would probably be done in a “couple of hours.”This was good news for me, given my long (afore-mentioned) to-do list. After my small kitchen appliance purchases, I took a break to walk the permimeter. On my “wish-list:” · Plant hangers (macramé!) (in box with other stuff - $8.00) · Adjustable angle/height tray table (I don’t own a dining table) - $2.50 · Drying rack (I don’t own a clothes dryer [or washer]) - $1.00 · Skirt hangers (see other pages regarding clothes-buying opportunities and closet-building experiences) - $1.00 · Giant bulletin boards (to display my art, my history, my life [wall-sized photo albums/scrapbooks]) , plus cool retro wooden chair - $3.00 · Corner shelf (to display my collectibles) – not purchased · Enclosed garment rack (see skirt hangers reference, above) – not purchased · Garden weed fabric (see garden reference, above) – not purchased · Bookcases/cabinets (Books…need I say more?) – not purchased · Wicker Papasan chair (circa 1976, so cool, and destined to be a reading chair in my to-be-remodeled bedroom) – not purchased, although I think it went for $15! Items purchased which were not on my list: · Knives, BBQ tools, stovetop grill rack, cutting board, wire rack, etc., etc. (one of those surprise boxes) - $6.00 · Recliner - $25.00 (Yes. After paying $190 for a gorilla-sized recliner a month ago from an auction 45 miles away ago and which I’ve hated and tolerated ever since. Caveat emptor. Hopefully I will be able to recupe some of my $ at a yard-sale [on a future to-do list, no doubt.] And purchased only after my friend Valerie offered to deliver it to my house.) · Treadmill - $5.00 (a good one!) (Yes, Valerie’s truck, again, just my luck!) (Although [for now] “formal” exercise has been “back-burnered” [in lieu of home-improvement workouts], this much-longed-for-piece-of-equipment will be used, someday!) So many stories to tell, including how I got all this stuff home, an experience all by itself. Thanks to friends and neighbors. What fun! One of the best days, ever! Seriously. Total = $102.00 (Well spent.) Saturday, 5.24.14, continued. Fun done. Gotta get to work. Later (post-auction): Done: Garden work (continued, nowhere near complete). Landscaping. Tree trimming. Brush hauling. I went in for the kill, all or nothing. I am covered in bumps, bruises, blood, sweat, tears and thorns. Just like Jesus. Not that I compare to Jesus, of course. I am, however, inspired. Next up, the pool. Tomorrow. Sunday, 5.25.14 8:00 a.m. Coffee and DIY TV. Then work will begin, so that tomorrow I can rest and enjoy my labors. The pool has to happen, otherwise nothing else will. The pool is broken. Leaks, holes, cracks, really? I stored it in the shed, just like I always do. It didn’t survive last winter’s storage either, but for some reason I continue to expect different results. It’s only a $15 pool, so no worries. Shower, dress and run to Walmart. During my shower it occurs to me, as it does every year, that there is a good chance that MY Walmart could very well be out-of-stock of swimming pools, especially my $15 pool. (The next price bracket up is an inflatable-ring-pool, which is super-comfortable, like a big waterbed lounge, and comes in uber-cool summer colors, but which I’ve learned (time-and-time again) does not work very well for a cat owner [air chambers + cats = deflated rings = 3 inches of water. And a whole lot of pumping and re-pumping. I used to use it as a workout, but come on, really!) Walmart.com to the rescue, thank you very much for saving me a wasted trip. Out of stock in Mountain Grove. Lucky for me, though, I can order it for “pickup as soon as today,” in Houston, only 30 miles away. Four hours to “kill” before I can (maybe, no guarantees) head to Houston for my pool. Garden, here I come. Man, it’s hot. And I don’t have a haircut scheduled till Tuesday. Sweat bands, spaghetti strap tank top. Frequent water-and-wash/wipe-off-my-glasses breaks. Done. Shower. Drive. For an hour, minimum. Doubtful that I will have time to get the pool set up before dark, but maybe. Pool purchased, yes. Setup today, no. Tomorrow. Monday, 5.2614 7:00 a.m.: Okay, I’m just going to enjoy some never-indulge-in-television: news, entertainment, game shows, talk shows, cooking shows. I can get started by noon and still have the entire day. 9:00 a.m.: Forecast: cloudy, chance of thunderstorms. Thank God… but, I should probably still, at least, get the hose(s) dragged out back, get the pool ready, just in case. And I really need to prep my food for grilling. And I would really like to write my blog. Guess which one won? (You’re reading it.) Stay tuned for grilling results, because I am conducting some experiments with the grill (it’s an experiment, period, as previously mentioned). And, photos to come, once I figure out how to use my new camera cable (out of stock in store, $4.00 Walmart.com, delivered site-to-store. Man, they’re good!) Later (4:55 p.m.): I am this close (picture arrow here) to being ready to post. Just one more proofread. And a quick news break. 5:00 p.m.: Breaking News (local news channel): “Fire on Square in Mountain Grove.” Live video shows “Meadowbrook Natural Foods” store engulfed in flames. This is three (3) doors down from where I work. Guess I gotta go. Stay tuned. Saturday 5.17.14 (Late, later, latest)
It is warmer outside by the fire than it is inside my house. That’s wrong. But it feels right. Saturday 5.19.14 (Later)
Fire. Necessary. Wet wood, only I will coax. Success. Miracle. Glory. I will bask. Saturday 5.19.14
Not only do I have a new (entire house) roof, I have a newly-roofed back porch. And a re-roofed front porch. Yet, again, expanded living spaces. Will it expand my life? My mind? My horizon? I’m pretty sure it will. If I let it. Just breathe... Friday 5.16.14
Well, last week’s exhaustion morphed into a week of daily sleepiness, brought on by nightly sleeplessness, waking up at 3 or 4 a.m. every morning and not being able to fall back to sleep until five (5) minutes before the alarm went off. Still crazy busy at work. My boss has been getting ready to go on vacation, for the first time in like 15 years, so we sent out notices to our customers so they could pre-order their print jobs. Among other projects, I am in the process of typesetting an 84-page book for a local county fair, which includes a new cover design. I offered to do said cover design for the customer on a freelance basis if my work schedule didn’t lighten up. I had cleared my freelance design option with my boss shortly after starting work for him (2-1/2 years ago), because he didn’t feel like “we” could charge enough to warrant doing it in-house. He said he was fine with my freelancing. Truth be told, I think he figured I wouldn’t have many opportunities, and he was right: I haven’t had many opportunities. And when I do, I manage to find the time to do it “on the clock” in my “downtime” and chalk it up to a learning-on-the-job experience, and we simply charge a minimum. (The minimum usually being zero. Which could explain why I’m still making only barely above minimum wage.) Well, the Fair Book People are interested in a new cover design, and since it’s been so insane lately, I made a point of telling my boss that I had offered to do it on a freelance basis (actually they asked me). The only reason I even mentioned it to him, was so that I could plan the design/artwork around the limitations of the print requirements (ink colors, bleeds, paper stock, etc.) The job needs to go on press like the day he gets back from vacation and I wanted to be ready. We got into a ridiculous argument, which I won, I guess. Here’s how the conversation went: Me: “The Tri-County Fair Board wants a new cover design that looks like that poster in the window that we did for [another customer]. Since we’ve (I’ve) been so crazy busy lately, I offered to do it freelance. Can you tell me what I need to know to have it set up properly so it can go straight to press when you get back?” Boss: “Piece of cake. You can do your background in Corel Draw or Illustrator, whatever you want. Save it as a jpeg or a tiff, and drop it into Page Maker and build the rest of the file (page layout, text, graphics, etc.) in that file. You can bleed it off of three sides if you need to.” [For the uninformed, Page Maker is an {antiquated, nearly obsolete} page layout program, not a graphics program. It has very limited artistic capabilities. It’s awesome for basic stuff, but limited in its creative aspects.] Me: “Well, I might need to stretch some type, play with the graphics, etc., (blah, blah, blah).” Boss: “Do whatever you want, as long as you end up with a Page Maker file.” (There is no solid basis for this requirement on his part, other than he HATES NEW TECHNOLOGY, and not a day goes by that he doesn’t remind the entire world of that fact.) Me: “So, do I need to limit myself to one-color of ink, or can I go with a 2-color design?” [The customer’s budget would allow either.) Boss: “Well, I think you could make it work (achieve the customer’s desired effect) with 1-color but, hey, if you want to go all crazy, knock yourself out. If you think you need two colors to make it work, you might as well get a printing price from 4-over (an online digital printing company we outsource to on a regular basis, with a healthy profit margin built in). He continued, “Why should I be bothered with the added labor necessitated by a fancy design job? Make someone else do it. Oh, and make sure you see if they will send the covers to us folded, and if not, you better be sure they are printing it so that the fold runs with the grain of the paper, otherwise it will be impossible to fold on my machine. You need to start thinking like a printer and stop being an artist.” [At this point, his sarcasm and passive-aggressive nature is starting to chime in.] Boss (continued): “You know, we (you) need to stop selling design services altogether. We are a print shop, not a design house. We can’t charge enough money to justify that crap (read: new technology).” Me: “Well, that’s why I offered to do it on a freelance basis. We’ve had this conversation before and you said it was okay.” Boss: “Fine, do whatever you want. Go ahead and steal business from the company.” Me: “How am I stealing business from the company? (I have once before, many, many years ago, been fired from a job for “stealing” business by freelancing, which I disclosed to him from the beginning, because it was a concern of mine; I reminded him of this fact.) You said you don’t have a problem with it. Besides, you say we’re not a design firm; you don’t even want to sell the service. I say, I’ll do it on regular company time if my schedule permits, or you can pay me overtime to do it over my regular hours, and you can charge the customer, or I can freelance the job, because any way at all, they are willing to pay. Boss: “You know what, why don’t you just leave it for me and I can do it at 4 a.m. when I get back from Florida on the 23rd and before I leave for Kansas on the 24th. That way it won’t cost me or the customer a penny, because my time isn’t worth anything.” (YES, he really said that. And he says it on a regular basis.) Boss (continuing): “Oh, never mind me. I’m just stressed. Do whatever you want. Go ahead, do your freelance thing, charge the customer a couple hundred bucks, whatever you want. Go ahead and steal from me. It’s okay.” That’s when I got pissed. It turned into a shouting match at that point, me shouting, him trying to calm me down. Me: “So, I should do it on company time, if I have the time. Or, you’re okay with me doing it on a freelance basis. And I’m not going to get fired?!” I’m pounding my fists on the tray-table between us. I’m raising my voice. I’m near tears, or violence, or walking out. (Remember, I haven’t been sleeping well.) Boss: No, silly, you’re not going to get fired!” Really, I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” Then he gave me a high-five. Followed by a hug. Know what I’m going to do? Today was his first day of vacation. Apparently all the customers who got the “off-line” notice think we’re closed for the duration, cuz the phone rang like twice all day. I spent the day shopping for mattresses online and I think I’ll do the cover design on company time and bill it as a freelance job. No, I won’t. I have morals. But man, he can be an ass sometimes. It’s still the best gig in (this) town. For as long as I’m in (this) town. |
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